How to recognize signs of infidelity is a question asked by many of our clients. One of the most disturbing moments in a person’s life is to experience the feeling that their spouse or significant other is being unfaithful. We are often asked by potential clients how can they know for certain if their life’s partner is cheating on them. We compiled a list of frequent situations and issues that arise in a relationship that may indicate infidelity of which was promulgated by various psychological occurrences caused by either partner to seek affection or another relationship elsewhere. Here is what we’ve learned about the most common causes of infidelity:
- A significant decrease in sexual interaction between partners
- An affair with a co-worker like the attractive one you met at your partner’s workplace
- You overheard your partner talking with that co-worker after hours
- Your partner has sudden and several abrupt outbursts over insignificant issues, followed by a rapid departure from your home, then after a long delay, returns home
- A sudden increase in out of town business trips
- Suspicious and suggestive emails or text messages on your partner’s cell phone or computer
- Links to matchmaker websites
- Unusual credit card charges
- Abusive responses when you’ve asked where they were and why they had not called as they usually do
- Makeup, cologne or perfume on their clothes
- An increase getting together with their friends without you for multiple evenings out telling you they think your relationship is no longer working and they need some time away to sort things out
- Threatening to leave at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason
- Constantly complaining about your appearance
- You observe your partner constantly eyeing every attractive female or male that comes into view.
Constantly arguing between partners is a huge contributor toward infidelity and it is also a clear indication that the relationship is in danger of disintegrating. Partners should remind their significant other how they felt when they fell in love and they should ask “how can we return to those feelings?” Counseling often helps restore your relationship and when there are children involved it is always advisable to seek counseling as long as you both want to preserve the relationship.
A “midlife crisis” is a huge contributor of infidelity. Your partner might feel they are getting older and are showing signs of aging. Your partner may be obsessing over a younger attractive partner who may have a moral compass of “anything goes.”
Trust Your Intuition
Your intuitiveness is the best barometer to know that infidelity might be in play and needs to be addressed. Becoming hysterical, threatening and unreasonable never works; it only inflames the situation. We always suggest that you should definitely confirm your suspicions of infidelity prior to confronting your partner by having your partner surveiled.
Don’t torture yourself by not knowing. Knowledge is power! Having unequivocal proof of their infidelity gives you the upper hand in avoiding their denials of infidelity and accusing you of being untrusting.
There have been times after we gathered evidence of infidelity where we’ve witnessed relationships mend. Over the years we stayed in touch with a few clients who reconciled with their partners and learned that their relationship actually improved. Many clients take into account their family, their children and the emotional damage it may cause should they divorce. It all comes down to whether both partners will commit to trusting each other again and each partner understanding what caused the infidelity to begin with.